Think about how the world provides unlimited ways we can spend our time. But our relationship to God and the time we spend for our families are really our highest priorities. My prayer today is that Spirit of the Lord can be with each of us, so He can teach us how the Lord can help us with this.
When
President Hickley was the prophet, they did a First Presidency letter teaching
us that even though other activities might be good, we need to be more
intentional on making time to help our families live the gospel.
They said: We call upon parents to devote their best efforts to the teaching and rearing of their children in gospel principles. We counsel parents and children to give highest priority to family prayer, family home evening, gospel study and instruction, and wholesome family activities. However worthy and appropriate other demands or activities may be, they must not be permitted to displace our divinely-appointed duties.
So if we want to find lasting joy, the Lord is asking for our Best efforts, highest priority, and not permitting other things to displace the duties of families.
In
our recent General Conference, our prophet, President Dallin H. Oaks talked
about how
family-centered
the gospel of Jesus Christ is. His talk is filled with counsel and the
teachings that Jesus Christ is giving to us as parents, grandparents, aunts/uncles,
and other family members. We live in the information age with more parenting
advice, blogs, and podcasts than you could absorb in a year. Instead, ask
yourself, what steps can I take to get my parenting advice from the Savior?
As
the Lord teaches us in Isaiah,
Seek ye the Lord For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways.
For
example, one of the concerns that President Oaks mentioned is that in today’s
society, parents have less influence on their children: QUOTE:
In today’s urban society, few members
experience consistent family-centered activities. Urban living and modern
transportation, organized entertainment, and high-speed communication have made
it easy for youth to treat their homes as boardinghouses, where there is far
less parental direction of their activities.
As parental influences diminish, Latter-day Saints still have a God-given responsibility to teach their children.
I have a personal testimony that Heavenly Father is anxious to send promptings on how we spend our time or how to help a child who is struggling because the Lord’s ways are higher. Here is one example of how God’s ways are higher than man’s ways.
One way the Lord helps us become better parents is through the counsel we receive in General Conference. I invite each of us to prayerfully study Pres. Oaks recent talk. For example, he taught:
Parents, single or married—and others, like grandparents, who fill that role for children—are the master teachers. The family circle is the ideal place to demonstrate and learn eternal values, and other essential lessons of life.
Our Savior, Jesus Christ, is our ultimate role model. We will be blessed if we model our lives after His teachings and self-sacrifice. Following Christ and giving ourselves in service to one another is the best remedy for the selfishness and individualism that now seem to be so common.
Some may say, “But we have no time for any of that.” To find time to do what is truly worthwhile, many parents will find that they can turn their family on if they all turn their technologies off. And parents, remember, what those children really want for dinner is time with you.
President Oaks continues: Great blessings come to families if they pray together, kneeling night and morning to offer thanks for blessings and to pray over common concerns. Families are also blessed as they worship together in Church services and in other devotional settings. Family bonds are also strengthened by family stories, creating family traditions, and sharing sacred experiences.
For
most years, my New Year’s goals revolved around being a better parent. There is
a magic bullet for this.
Two of the biggest challenges parents face in raising children is first knowing how to effectively teach our children, including having our children follow our counsel, and second is helping our children treat each other with more kindness. One of my favorite parenting quotes that solves these 2 challenges isn’t found on a typical parenting blog. Rather, parts of it have been quoted in General Conference at least 7 times which to me is a witness of how true it is. It promises us that if we read the Book of Mormon, there will be less contention and our children will listen to our counsel.
I first heard it in 1986 when our prophet, President Benson, quoted Pres.
Marion G. Romney
who said:
I counsel you to make reading in the
Book of Mormon a few minutes each day a lifelong practice....I feel certain
that if parents will read from the Book of Mormon regularly, both by themselves
and with their children, the spirit of that great book will come to permeate
our homes and all who dwell therein. The
spirit of contention will depart.
Parents will counsel their children in greater love and wisdom. Children will be more responsive and
submissive to that counsel.
Righteousness will increase. Faith,
hope and charity-the pure love of Christ-will abound in our homes and lives,
bringing in their wake peace, joy and happiness.
(Marion G. Romney, Gen. Conf. Apr. 1960 and 1980)
So your magic bullet for parenting is read the Book of Mormon.
Multiple
recent prophets have made great promises that come from reading the B of M
daily.
Another way we could improve our parenting is to read the Book of Mormon with a focus on “How could these verses apply to parenting? Let me share two examples that impacted my parenting.
The first was when the Lord asked Nephi to build a boat. Nephi said that rather than building it after the manner of men, he went to the mount often and prayed to know how to build the boat. I think righteous parenting can be more challenging than building a boat, but the Lord can inspire us on what a particular child needs at a certain time.
1 Nephi 18 Nephi said “And the Lord did show me from time to time after what manner I should work the timbers of the ship. Now I, Nephi, did not wok the timbers after the manner which was learned by men. And I, Nephi, did go into the mount oft, and I did pray oft unto the Lord; wherefore the Lord showed unto me great things.” I learned that if I pray oft, the Lord would show me how to parent in a better way.
The second Book of Mormon story that
impacted my parenting came from an example of
“Good verses better or best.” When Alma the Younger was serving as both the chief judge and the high priest over the church, the people of the church "began to wax proud" because of their great riches and fine apparel. Their pride was a major hindrance to the Church. Alma felt the best way he could help was to make more time to try the power of the word of God and bear "pure testimony."
So in Alma chapter 4 Alma gave up being chief judge, QUOTE “And this he did that he himself might go forth among the people of Nephi, that he might preach the word of God unto them.” So, I try to continually pray and humbly ask the Lord what I need to give up to make my family my highest priority.
As President Oaks said, “Some may say, “But we have no time for things like family prayer & scriptures or other things the Lord might prompt us to do, but I learned that when I prayed often to know where to spend my time, I would get quiet promptings that became a great blessing to my family.
Pres.
Nelson said a similar thing several times: He said If we will truly receive the
Holy Ghost and learn to discern and understand His promptings, we will be
guided in matters large & small.
In this last conference, Sister Browning taught how parents could use primary songs to teach our children the doctrine of Jesus Christ. ?
President Dallin H. Oaks once taught that “the singing of hymns is one of the best ways to learn the doctrine of the restored gospel.” Those words are true for all of us but are especially so for children. Primary music is one of God’s most tender tools for planting the seeds of testimony in the hearts of the Savior’s youngest disciples. Parents,
A prophet of the Lord, President Russell M. Nelson, taught: “[Music] can exert a continuing influence for good well beyond times when children are small. … [It] has [the] power to provide spiritual nourishment. It has healing power. It has [the] power to facilitate worship; it allows us to contemplate the [Savior’s] Atonement and the Restoration of the gospel with its saving principles and exalting ordinances. Music provides power for us to express prayerful thoughts and bear testimony of sacred truths.”
Some
of us make the time to create playlists of music we enjoy. Could we strengthen
our family’s testimonies by creating Playlists so they learn the newer primary
songs that so beautifully teach the doctrine of Jesus Christ: Like the
beautiful song, “Gethsemane” or these lyrics from ” I Will Walk With Jesus,”
I will trust in Jesus. I will hear His call.
He will never leave me, even when I fall.
Jesus gives me power, lifts and comforts me,
Helping me to live and grow eternally.
Chorus: As I walk with Jesus to my home above,
He will bless me with His Spirit and fill me with His
love,
Change my heart forever and help me clearly see.
I will walk with Jesus, and He will walk with me.
Parenting in today’s world feels a lot like trying to build a boat for the first time, but I have seen many times in my personal life and bear witness that the Lord is anxious to open the windows of heaven and pour down blessings on our families when we make time to prayerfully ask for His help.
I
am especially grateful for a testimony the through the atonement of our Savior
we can receive the strength and help to do things beyond our own ability. “I
feel my Savior’s love, and I am grateful that His gentleness enfolds me.”
