What the Prophets have Said about Hanging Out, Dating and Kissing

As parents, we are trying to give our teenagers the best guidance we can. One area that often brings a lot of discussion is hanging out, dating and affection and how much is O.K. Over the years we have studied what the prophets and apostles have said on this topic and put together these quotes so we can share them with our children.

WHY STAY MORALLY CLEAN?
1. “Truly, you are a chosen generation. Peter speaks of “an holy nation,” [and] Peter’s final description—“a peculiar people.”  Of course you are peculiar. If the world continues its present trend, and if you walk in obedience to the doctrines and principles of this church, you may become even more peculiar in the eyes of others.”       

             Gordon B. Hinckley, “This Favored Season,” Liahona, Sep 1995 

 2. “Lehi’s dream or vision of the iron rod has in it everything a young Latter-day Saint needs to understand the test of life. The great and spacious building was filled with people pointing their fingers towards those who had come at and were partaking of the fruit. One word in this dream or vision should have special meaning to you. The word is after. It was after the people had found the tree that they became ashamed, and because of the mockery of the world they fell away.”      Boyd K. Packer, “Lehi’s Dream and You”, Jan 2007

3. “Within the enduring covenant of marriage, the Lord permits husband and wife the expression of the sacred procreative powers in all their loveliness and beauty.  One purpose of this private, sacred, intimate experience is to provide the physical bodies for spirits to experience mortality. Another reason for these powerful and beautiful feelings of love is to bind husband and wife together in loyalty, fidelity, consideration of each other.  Within the sacred covenant of marriage, such relationships are according to His plan. When experienced any other way, they are against His will. They cause serious emotional and spiritual harm. Even though participants do not realize that is happening now, they will later.”
        Richard G. Scott, “Serious Questions, Serious Answers,” New Era, Oct 1995

4.  “And now just a word on the most common and most difficult of all problems for you young men and young women to handle. It is the relationship that you have one with another. You are dealing with the most powerful of human instincts. Only the will to live possibly exceeds it.  The Lord has made us attractive one to another for a great purpose. But this very attraction becomes as a powder keg unless it is kept under control. It is beautiful when handled in the right way. It is deadly if it gets out of hand.”
              Gordon B. Hinckley, “A Prophet’s Counsel and Prayer for Youth,” Ensign, Jan. 2001

IS IT O.K. TO STEADY DATE IN HIGH SCHOOL/ BEFORE A MISSION?

1. “Avoid steady dating with a young man prior to the time of his mission call. If your relationship with him is more casual, then he can make that decision to serve more easily and also can concentrate his full energies on his missionary work instead of the girlfriend back home. And after he returns honorably from his mission, he will be a better husband and father and priesthood holder, having first served a full-time mission.”

                    Ezra Taft Benson, “To the Young Women of the Church,” Ensign, Nov. 1986

2. “God has planted in you, for a purpose, a divine urge which may be easily subverted to evil and destructive ends. When you are young, do not get involved in steady dating. When you reach an age where you think of marriage, then is the time to become so involved. But you boys who are in high school don’t need this, and neither do the girls.  Have a wonderful time with the young women. Do things together, but do not get too serious too soon. You have missions ahead of you, and you cannot afford to compromise this great opportunity and responsibility.”       
             Gordon B. Hinckley, “Some Thoughts on Temples & Missionary Service,” Ens Nov. 1997

3. “If you are old enough to date, you are old enough to know that your parents have not only the right but the sacred obligation, and they are under counsel from the leaders of the Church, to concern themselves with your dating habits. If you are mature enough to date, you are mature enough to accept without childish, juvenile argument their authority as parents to set rules of conduct for you.

“When are you old enough? Maturity may vary from individual to individual, but we are convinced that dating should not even begin until you are 16. And then, ideal dating is on a group basis. Stay in group activities; don’t pair off. Avoid steady dating. Steady dating is courtship, and surely the beginning of courtship ought to be delayed until you have emerged from your teens.

“How foolish is the youth who feels that the Church is a fence around love to keep him out. Oh, youth, if you could know! The requirements of the Church are the highway to love and to happiness, with guardrails securely in place, with guideposts plainly marked, and with help along the way.“              
                  Boyd K. Packer, “You’re in the Driver’s Seat,” New Era, June 2004

4. “The Lord has made us attractive one to another for a great purpose. But this very attraction becomes as a powder keg unless it is kept under control. It is beautiful when handled in the right way. It is deadly if it gets out of hand.  It is for this reason that the Church counsels against early dating. This rule is not designed to hurt you in any way. It is designed to help you, and it will do so if you will observe it.
“Steady dating at an early age leads so often to tragedy. Studies have shown that the longer a boy and girl date one another, the more likely they are to get into trouble.  It is better, my friends, to date a variety of companions until you are ready to marry. Have a wonderful time, but stay away from familiarity. Keep your hands to yourself. It may not be easy, but it is possible.”
                        Gordon B. Hinckley, “A Prophet’s Counsel and Prayer for Youth,” Ensign, Jan. 2001

HANGING OUT


1. “Many LDS teens are moving away from the traditional date and instead they are just hanging out—getting together informally and doing whatever—usually watching TV or a movie or talking. The words we use to describe associating with people of the opposite sex may change, and the trends in socializing may change, but principles and guidelines for our behavior stay the same.

“Don’t play with definitions. Some LDS teens think it’s okay to pair off exclusively with one person before they are 16 because they call it hanging out instead of dating. It’s still spending time alone with one person. If you pair off, the attractions and emotions you will feel toward that person are the same whether you call it dating, going out, going steady, or hanging out.

“Church leaders have given us wise counsel to help us deal with these attractions and emotions in For the Strength of Youth. Let’s look at some of the counsel they have given for dating, and see how it applies to hanging out.

“Do not date until you are at least 16 years old. Dating before then can lead to immorality, limit the number of other young people you meet, and deprive you of experiences that will help you choose an eternal partner.” The same can be said for hanging out with one person a lot.

“Avoid going on frequent dates with the same person.” A major reason for that advice is to avoid spending too much time with one person, which is exactly what hanging out often leads to. “                  
                  “Q&A: Questions and Answers,” New Era, Apr 2002

KISSING

1. In any healthy, long-lasting relationship, affection is an essential element—not as an end in itself, but as an expression of genuine feeling. Speaking of affection in courtship, President Spencer W. Kimball has described an appropriate courtship kiss as “like the kiss between a mother and a son or a daughter and a father.” 

              Spencer W. Kimball, In Sydney Australia Area Conference Report, 29 Feb. 1976

2. Satan tempts one to believe that there are allowable levels of physical contact between consenting individuals who seek the powerful stimulation of emotions they produce, and if kept within bounds, no harm will result. As a witness of Jesus Christ, I testify that is absolutely false. When you are mature enough to plan seriously for marriage, keep your expressions of feelings to those that are comfortable in the presence of your parents.
                     Richard G. Scott, “Serious Questions, Serious Answers,” New Era, Oct 1995

3. “What is miscalled the soul kiss is an abomination and stirs passion that results in the eventual loss of virtue. Even if timely courtship justifies a kiss, it should be a clean, decent, sexless one. … If the soul kiss with its passion were eliminated from dating, there would be an immediate upswing in chastity and honor.  With the absence of the soul kiss, necking would be greatly reduced. Its younger sister, petting, would be totally eliminated. Both are abominations of their own right and kind.”
            Spencer W. Kimball, Sydney Australia Area Conference, 29 Feb. 1976

HOW FAR IS TOO FAR?


1. “They always tell us we shouldn’t become sexually involved, but they never tell us the limits. What are they?  Any sexual intimacy outside of the bonds of marriage—I mean any intentional contact with the sacred, private parts of another’s body, with or without clothing—is a sin and is forbidden by God. It is also a transgression to intentionally stimulate these emotions within your own body.

2. “Satan tempts one to believe that there are allowable levels of physical contact between consenting individuals who seek the powerful stimulation of emotions they produce, and if kept within bounds, no harm will result. As a witness of Jesus Christ, I testify that is absolutely false.  When you are mature enough to plan seriously for marriage, keep your expressions of feelings to those that are comfortable in the presence of your parents.”                                       Richard G. Scott, “Serious Questions, Serious Answers,” New Era, Oct 1995

3. Necking and Petting: “Among the most common sexual sins our young people commit are necking and petting. Not only do these improper relations often lead to fornication, pregnancy, and abortions—all ugly sins—but in and of themselves they are pernicious evils”

 “In interviewing repenting young folks, as well as some older ones, I am frequently told that the couple met their defeat in the dark, at late hours, in secluded areas. … The car was most often the confessed seat of the difficulty”
                   Spencer W. Kimball, The Miracle of Forgiveness, p. 225

What the Prophets Have Said About Debt

President Thomas S. Monson, “Are We Prepared?” Ensign, September 2014

We urge all Latter-day Saints to be prudent in their planning, to be conservative in their living, and to avoid excessive or unnecessary debt. Many more people could ride out the storm-tossed waves in their economic lives if they had a supply of food and clothing and were debt-free. Today we find that many have followed this counsel in reverse: they have a supply of debt and are food-free.

President Gordon B. Hinckley, “To the Boys and to the Men,” Ensign, November 1998

But I am suggesting that the time has come to get our houses in order. So many of our people are living on the very edge of their incomes. In fact, some are living on borrowings.  There is a portent of stormy weather ahead to which we had better give heed.  Self-reliance cannot obtain when there is serious debt hanging over a household. One has neither independence nor freedom from bondage when he is obligated to others.

This is a part of the temporal gospel in which we believe. May the Lord bless you, my beloved brethren, to set your houses in order. If you have paid your debts, if you have a reserve, even though it be small, then should storms howl about your head, you will have shelter for your wives and children and peace in your hearts.

The economy is particularly vulnerable. We have been counseled again and again concerning self-reliance, concerning debt, concerning thrift. So many of our people are heavily in debt for things that are not entirely necessary. When I was a young man, my father counseled me to build a modest home, sufficient for the needs of my family. He counseled me to pay off the mortgage as quickly as I could so that, come what may, there would be a roof over the heads of my wife and children. I urge you as members of this Church to get free of debt where possible and to have a little laid aside against a rainy day.

Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin, “Earthy Debts, Heavenly Debts,” Ensign, May 2004

Remember this: debt is a form of bondage. It is a financial termite. Some debt—such as for a modest home, expenses for education, perhaps for a needed first car—may be necessary. But never should we enter into financial bondage through consumer debt without carefully weighing the costs.

The counsel from other inspired prophets in our time on this subject is clear, and what was true 50 or 150 years ago is also true today.

President Heber J. Grant said, “From my earliest recollections, from the days of Brigham Young until now, I have listened to men standing in the pulpit … urging the people not to run into debt; and I believe that the great majority of all our troubles today is caused through the failure to carry out that counsel.” ³

President Ezra Taft Benson said, “Do not leave yourself or your family unprotected against financial storms. … Build up savings.” ⁴

President Harold B. Lee taught, “Not only should we teach men to get out of debt but we should teach them likewise to stay out of debt.” ⁵

President Gordon B. Hinckley declared: “Many of our people are living on the very edge of their incomes. In fact, some are living on borrowings. … I urge you to be modest in your expenditures; discipline yourselves in your purchases to avoid debt to the extent possible. Pay off debt as quickly as you can, and free yourselves from bondage.” ⁶

Elder L. Tom Perry, “If Ye Are Prepared Ye Shall Not Fear,” Ensign, November 1995

Wisely we have been counseled to avoid debt as we would avoid the plague. President J. Reuben Clark fearlessly and repeatedly counseled members of the Church to take action.

“Live within your means. Get out of debt. Keep out of debt. Lay by for a rainy day which has always come and will come again. Practice and increase your habits of thrift, industry, economy, and frugality” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1937, p. 107).

Elder James E. Faust, “The Responsibility for Welfare Rests with Me and My Family,” Ensign, May 1986

I wish to speak of the basic principles that keep our feet on the ground economically. This is important to our happiness. Let us examine ourselves and, like pilots in the sky, take our bearings to see if we are on course financially. We must build upon sound principles. The bedrock principle of which I speak is that the responsibility for welfare rests with me and my family.

Elder Ezra Taft Benson stated: “A large proportion of families with personal debt have no liquid assets whatsoever to fall back upon. What troubles they invite if their income should be suddenly cut off or seriously reduced! We all know of families who have obligated themselves for more than they could pay.” (Pay Thy Debt, and Live, Brigham Young University Speeches of the Year, Provo: 28 Feb. 1963, p. 10.)

Owning a home free of debt is an important goal of provident living, although it may not be a realistic possibility for some. A mortgage on a home leaves a family unprotected against severe financial storms. Homes that are free and clear of mortgages and liens cannot be foreclosed on. When there are good financial times, it is the most opportune time to retire our debts and pay installments in advance. It is a truth that “the borrower is servant to the lender.” (Prov. 22:7.)

Many young people have become so hypnotized by the rhythm of monthly payments they scarcely think of the total cost of what they buy. They immediately want things it took their parents years to acquire. It is not the pathway to happiness to assume debts for a big home, an expensive car, or the most stylish clothes just so we can “keep up with the Joneses.” Payment of obligations is a sacred trust. Most of us will never be rich, but we can feel greatly unburdened when we are debt-free.

The Relationship Between Charity and the Attributes of Christ

My son and I were recently discussing charity, and since he returned home from his two-year mission last year, he had been studying Preach My Gospel and the Attributes of Christ that it lists. He pointed out to me that the attributes Christ closely parallel the attributes of charity that Paul teaches about in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 and Moroni teaches in Moroni 7:45-48. I had also been studying the last half of Mosiah 3:19 to understand how we "becometh a saint."

Elder Bednar gave a very helpful talk about charity entitled "The Character of Christ." Here is one of the quotes from it that has helped me:

Let me suggest that you and I must be praying and yearning and striving and working to cultivate a Christlike character if we hope to receive the spiritual gift of charity--the pure love of Christ. Charity is not a trait or characteristic we acquire exclusively through our own purposive persistence and determination. Indeed we must honor our covenants and live worthily and do all that we can do to qualify for the gift; but ultimately the gift of charity possesses us--we do not posses it (see Moroni 7:47). 

The Lord determines if and when we receive all spiritual gifts, but we must do all in our power to desire and yearn and invite and qualify for such gifts. As we increasingly act in a manner congruent with the character of Christ, then perhaps we are indicating to heaven in a most powerful manner our desire for the supernal spiritual gift of charity. And clearly we are being blessed with this marvelous gift as we increasingly reach outward when the natural man or woman in us would typically turn inward.

Aspects of Charity

Charity- Moroni 7, 1 Cor. 13	Attributes of Christ– PMG 6	Becometh a Saint-Mosiah 3:19
suffereth long	patience	patience
kind	charity and love	full of love
envieth not	humility
not puffed up	humility	meek, humble
seeketh not her own	obedience	submissive
not easily provoked	patience	patience
thinketh no evil	virtue
rejoiceth not in iniquity	virtue
rejoiceth in the truth	virtue
beareth all things	diligence	willing to submit to all things
believeth all things	faith in Jesus Christ
hopeth all things	hope
endureth all things	diligence
		becometh as a child
	knowledge

Elder Maxwell  The Greek rendition of the word "meek" in the New Testament, by the way, is “gentle and humble.”  Actually, meekness is not an attribute which is essential only in itself, said Moroni. It is also vital because one cannot develop those other crucial virtues—faith, hope, and charity—without meekness. In the ecology of the eternal attributes, these cardinal characteristics are inextricably bound up together. Among them, meekness is often the initiator, facilitator, and consolidator.

Meekness, however, is more than self-restraint; it is the presentation of self in a posture of kindness and gentleness, reflecting certitude, strength, serenity, and a healthy self-esteem and self-control.

Furthermore, not only are the meek less easily offended, but they are less likely to give offense to others. Meekness also cultivates in us a generosity in viewing the mistakes and imperfections of others.   

Perhaps the Greatest Charity Comes When We Don’t Judge or Categorize Someone Else

Usually when I collect quotes I want to remember, I try to pick my 1 or 2 favorite paragraphs. But with Elder Ashton's talk below, he had so many great paragraphs that I am trying to incorporate into my life that I have included some of them here.


In 1992, Elder Marvin J. Ashton beautifully observed:
Charity is, perhaps, in many ways a misunderstood word. We often equate charity with visiting the sick, taking in casseroles to those in need, or sharing our excess with those who are less fortunate. But really, true charity is much, much more.

Real charity is not something you give away; it is something that you acquire and make a part of yourself. And when the virtue of charity becomes implanted in your heart, you are never the same again.

Perhaps the greatest charity comes when we are kind to each other, when we don’t judge or categorize someone else, when we simply give each other the benefit of the doubt or remain quiet.

Charity is accepting someone’s differences, weaknesses, and shortcomings; having patience with someone who has let us down; or resisting the impulse to become offended when someone doesn’t handle something the way we might have hoped. Charity is refusing to take advantage of another’s weakness and being willing to forgive someone who has hurt us. Charity is expecting the best of each other.

If we could look into each other’s hearts and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care.
If the adversary can influence us to pick on each other, to find fault, bash, and undermine, to judge or humiliate or taunt, half his battle is won. Why? Because though this sort of conduct may not equate with succumbing to grievous sin, it nevertheless neutralizes us spiritually.

Sister Bonnie D. Parkin:

In exercising charity, we come to know a sister’s heart. When we know a sister’s heart, we are different. We won’t judge her. We will simply love her. I invite you to not only love each other more but love each other better. As we do this we will come to know with a surety that “charity never faileth.” 15

The Desires of our Hearts determine the Attractiveness of Various Temptations

Elder Neal A. Maxwell, “According to the Desire of [Our] Hearts”

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1996/10/according-to-the-desire-of-our-hearts?lang=eng

“When people are described as ‘having lost their desire for sin,’ it is they, and they only, who deliberately decided to lose those wrong desires by being willing to ‘give away all [their] sins’ in order to know God.”

Therefore, what we insistently desire, over time, is what we will eventually become and what we will receive in eternity.

Righteous desires need to be relentless, therefore, because, said President Brigham Young, “the men and women, who desire to obtain seats in the celestial kingdom, will find that they must battle every day” (in Journal of Discourses, 11:14). Therefore, true Christian soldiers are more than weekend warriors...

What we are speaking about is so much more than merely deflecting temptations for which we somehow do not feel responsible. Remember, brothers and sisters, it is our own desires which determine the sizing and the attractiveness of various temptations. We set our thermostats as to temptations.

“Do you,” President Young asked, “think that people will obey the truth because it is true, unless they love it? No, they will not” (in Journal of Discourses, 7:55). Thus knowing gospel truths and doctrines is profoundly important, but we must also come to love them. When we love them, they will move us and help our desires and outward works to become more holy.

President Joseph F. Smith, “the education then of our desires is one of far-reaching importance to our happiness in life” (Gospel Doctrine,5th ed. [1939], 297).

Such education can lead to sanctification until, said President Brigham Young, “holy desires produce corresponding outward works” (in Journal of Discourses, 6:170).

Only by educating and training our desires can they become our allies instead of our enemies!


Elder Oaks, “Desire”

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/print/2011/04/desire?lang=eng&clang=eng

As important as it is to lose every desire for sin, eternal life requires more. To achieve our eternal destiny, we will desire and work for the qualities required to become an eternal being. 

For example, eternal beings forgive all who have wronged them. They put the welfare of others ahead of themselves. And they love all of God’s children.

If this seems too difficult—and surely it is not easy for any of us—then we should begin with a desire for such qualities and call upon our loving Heavenly Father for help with our feelings.

The Book of Mormon teaches us that we should “pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that [we] may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ” (Moroni 7:48).

Scriptures Elder Maxwell included in his talk:

·         “For I [said the Lord] will judge all men according to their works, according to the desire of their hearts” (D&C 137:9; see also Jer. 17:10).

·         Alma said, “I know that [God] granteth unto men according to their desire, … I know that he allotteth unto men … according to their wills” (Alma 29:4).

·         “For I, the Lord, will judge all men according to their works, according to the desire of their hearts” (D&C 137:8–9).

·         God delights in blessing us, especially when we realize “joy in that which [we] have desired” (D&C 7:8).

·         Satan “[desires] that all men might be miserable like unto himself” (2 Ne. 2:27).

·         With their baptismal commitments spelled out specifically, “they … exclaimed: This is the desire of our hearts” (Mosiah 18:11).

·         The Nephite multitude, enraptured by the presence of the resurrected Jesus, knelt in humble and intensive prayer, yet “they did not multiply many words, for it was given unto them what they should pray, and they were filled with desire” (3 Ne. 19:24).

·         The absence of any keen desire—merely being lukewarm—causes a terrible flattening (see Rev. 3:15). 

·         Fortunately for us, our loving Lord will work with us, “even if [we] can [do] no more than desire to believe,” providing we will “let this desire work in [us]” (Alma 32:27). 

·         “let not thine heart envy sinners” is directed squarely at those with a sad unsettlement of soul (Prov. 23:17). 

·         It is they, and they only, who deliberately decided to lose those wrong desires by being willing to “give away all [their] sins” in order to know God (Alma 22:18).

How to Increase our Faith

I grew up in the Church, but as a teenager I worried that I didn't have a testimony because I was looking for a big Alma-type experience. For me, the first thing I was positive I had a testimony about (and this was after I was married) was I gained a testimony that prayers are answered. Many of the answers/mini-miracles I received fit into a category I labeled in my mind as “possible coincidences” or “can be explained away.” But then I also had some answers/mini-miracles that had no other possible explanation than an answer to prayer or tender mercy. Then one day I realized how important Hebrews 11:1 was to my testimony. The JST version reads: “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” All of those answers to prayers, became evidence that there was a God.

In the Book of Mormon, Jacob said it this way:

   “Wherefore, we search the prophets, and we have many revelations and the spirit of prophecy; and having all these witnesses we obtain a hope, and our faith becometh unshaken, insomuch that we truly can command in the name of Jesus and the very trees obey us, or the mountains, or the waves of the sea.

    “Nevertheless, the Lord God showeth us our weakness that we may know that it is by his grace, and his great condescensions unto the children of men, that we have power to do these things” (Jacob 4:6–7).

Unfortunately the memory of those blessings fade. As President Eyring taught: “great faith has a short shelf life.”  I believe this is why we are commanded to keep a journal so we have a record of all the evidence.

Back in the October 2008 General Conference I learned something from Elder Neal A. Anderson I had never thought about before. He said:

Several years ago a friend of mine had a young daughter die in a tragic accident. Hopes and dreams were shattered. My friend felt unbearable sorrow. He began to question what he had been taught and what he had taught as a missionary. The mother of my friend wrote me a letter and asked if I would give him a blessing. As I laid my hands upon his head, I felt to tell him something that I had not thought about in exactly the same way before. The impression that came to me was: Faith is not only a feeling; it is a decision. He would need to choose faith.

In addition, Richard C. Edgley in October 2010 General Conference said:

Be aware that faith is not a free gift given without thought, desire, or effort. It does not come as the dew falls from heaven. The Savior said, “Come unto me” (Matthew 11:28) and “Knock, and it shall be [given] you” (Matthew 7:7). These are action verbs—come, knock. They are choices. So I say, choose faith. Choose faith over doubt, choose faith over fear, choose faith over the unknown and the unseen, and choose faith over pessimism.

James E. Talmage, Jesus the Christ

But there is in Christ's question, "Who touched me?" a deeper significance than could inhere in a simple inquiry as to the identity of an individual; and this is implied in the Lord's further words: "Somebody hath touched me: for I perceive that virtue is gone out of me." The usual external act by which His miracles were wrought was a word or a command, sometimes accompanied by the laying on of hands, or by some other physical ministration as in anointing the eyes of a blind man.  That there was an actual giving of His own strength to the afflicted whom He healed is evident from the present instance.

Passive belief on the part of a would-be recipient of blessing is insufficient; only when it is vitalized into active faith is it a power; so also of one who ministers in the authority given of God, mental and spiritual energy must be operative if the service is to be effective. 

Howard W. Hunter Oct 1974

Whether seeking for knowledge of scientific truths or to discover God, one must have faith. This becomes the starting point. Faith has been defined in many ways, but the most classic definition was given by the author of the letter to the Hebrews in these meaningful words: “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” (Heb. 11:1.) In other words, faith makes us confident of what we hope for and convinced of what we do not see. The scientist does not see molecules, atoms, or electrons, yet he knows they exist. He does not see electricity, radiation, or magnetism, but he knows these are unseen realities. In like manner, those who earnestly seek for God do not see him, but they know of his reality by faith. It is more than hope. Faith makes it a conviction—an evidence of things not seen.

The Inconvenient Messiah by Jeffrey R. Holland

All but a prophetic few must go about God's work in very quiet, very unspectacular ways. And as you labor to know him, and to know that he knows you; as you invest your time—and your convenience—in quiet, unassuming service, you will indeed find that "he shall give his angels charge concerning thee: and in their hands they shall bear thee up" (Matthew 4:6). It may not come quickly. It probably won't come quickly, but there is purpose in the time it takes. Cherish your spiritual burdens because God will converse with you through them and will use you to do his work if you carry them well.

Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “Point of Safe Return”, April.  2007

We need a strong faith in Christ to be able to repent. Our faith has to include a “correct idea of [God’s] character, perfections, and attributes” (Lectures on Faith [1985], 38). If we believe that God knows all things, is loving, and is merciful, we will be able to put our trust in Him for our salvation without wavering. Faith in Christ will change our thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors that are not in harmony with God’s will.” 

Elder Robert D. Hales – Oct 2004

As the prophet Enos learned, it means letting others’ testimonies of the gospel “[sink] deep into [our] heart[s].” 23 Let us review some of the elements of Enos’s profound, faith-building experience:

·         First, Enos heard the gospel truths from his father, just as you are hearing them in your families and in this conference.

·         Second, he let his father’s teachings about “eternal life, and the joy of the saints” 24 sink deep into his heart.

^·           Third, he was filled with a desire to know for himself whether these teachings were true and where he himself stood before his Maker. To use Enos’s words, “My soul hungered.” 25 By this intense spiritual appetite, Enos qualified himself to receive the Savior’s promise: “Blessed are all they who do hunger and thirst after righteousness, for they shall be filled with the Holy Ghost.” 26 

·         Fourth, Enos obeyed the commandments of God, which enabled him to be receptive to the Spirit of the Holy Ghost.

·         Fifth, Enos records, “I kneeled down before my Maker, and I cried unto him in mighty prayer and supplication for mine own soul; and all the day long did I cry unto him; yea, and when the night came I did still raise my voice high that it reached the heavens.” 27 It wasn’t easy. Faith did not come quickly. In fact, Enos characterized his experience in prayer as a “wrestle which [he] had before God.” 28 But faith did come. By the power of the Holy Ghost, he did receive a witness for himself.

We cannot find Enos-like faith without our own wrestle before God in prayer.