My Mom's mother, my grandma, wasn't able to have children for the first 16 years of their marriage, so when they were finally blessed with children, they became the joy and center of their lives. This focus on the blessing of having children became ingrained in our family culture.
My mother taught me that being a mother is a gift to look forward to. I also remember her saying many times, "When you are a mom you give up your own life for 30 years." I realize this isn't a popular principle right now and I acknowledge we need to take care of our own needs. But now that my 30 years are past, I can see the great blessings that have come from that sacrifice. As the Savior taught, "He who loses his life shall find it." The joy that motherhood has brought into my life can't be expressed in words.
For me, one of the biggest challenges of being a stay-home mom was that much of what we do isn't visible. What we cleaned in the morning doesn't stay clean, the laundry pile never stays down, and the time we spend reading, teaching and talking with our children usually isn't immediately apparent. Over the years when I would get discouraged and tired, I would read General Conference talks to remind myself that what I was doing was highly valued. Here are some of my favorites:0
My mother taught me that being a mother is a gift to look forward to. I also remember her saying many times, "When you are a mom you give up your own life for 30 years." I realize this isn't a popular principle right now and I acknowledge we need to take care of our own needs. But now that my 30 years are past, I can see the great blessings that have come from that sacrifice. As the Savior taught, "He who loses his life shall find it." The joy that motherhood has brought into my life can't be expressed in words.
For me, one of the biggest challenges of being a stay-home mom was that much of what we do isn't visible. What we cleaned in the morning doesn't stay clean, the laundry pile never stays down, and the time we spend reading, teaching and talking with our children usually isn't immediately apparent. Over the years when I would get discouraged and tired, I would read General Conference talks to remind myself that what I was doing was highly valued. Here are some of my favorites:0
"No one can duplicate the influence of a mother. Men can and often do communicate the love of Heavenly Father and the Savior to others. Women have a special gift for it—a divine endowment. You have the capacity to sense what someone needs—and when he or she needs it. You can reach out, comfort, teach, and strengthen someone in his or her very moment of need. Women see things differently than men do, and oh, how we need your perspective! Your nature leads you to think of others first, to consider the effect that any course of action will have on others.
My dear sisters, we need you! We “need your strength, your conversion, your conviction, your ability to lead, your wisdom, and your voices.” We simply cannot gather Israel without you. I love you and thank you and now bless you with the ability to leave the world behind as you assist in this crucial and urgent work."
We call upon parents to devote their best efforts to the
teaching and rearing of their children in gospel principles which will keep
them close to the Church. The home is the basis of a righteous life, and no
other instrumentality can take its place or fulfill its essential functions in
carrying forward this God-given responsibility.
We counsel parents and children to give highest priority to family prayer, family home evening, gospel study and instruction, and wholesome family activities. However worthy and appropriate other demands or activities may be, they must not be permitted to displace the divinely-appointed duties that only parents and families can adequately perform.
“May years ago the First Presidency issued a
statement that has had a profound and lasting influence upon me. “Motherhood,”
they wrote, “is near to divinity. It is the highest, holiest service to be
assumed by mankind. It places her who honors its holy calling and service next
to the angels.”
Because
mothers are essential to God’s great plan of happiness, their sacred work is
opposed by Satan, who would destroy the family and demean the worth of
women.”
When as
mothers, you are consistently in the home, at least during the hours the
children are predominantly there, you can detect the individual needs of each
child and provide ways to satisfy them.
Your divinely given instincts help sense a child’s special talents and
unique capacities so that you can nurture and strengthen them.
Parents don’t
make the mistake of purposefully intervening to soften or eliminate the natural
consequences of your child’s deliberate decisions to violate the
commandments. Such acts reinforce false
principles, open the door for more serious sin, and lessen the likelihood of
repentance.
You must be
willing to forgo personal pleasure and self-interest for family-centered
activity, and not turn over to church, school, or society the principal role of
fostering a child’s well-rounded development.
It takes time, great effort, and significant personal sacrifice to
‘train up a child in the way he should go.’
But where can you find greater rewards for a job well done?
Certainly there are trends and
forces at work that would weaken and even eliminate your influence, to the
great detriment of individuals, families, and society at large. Let me mention
three as a caution and a warning.
A pernicious philosophy that
undermines women’s moral influence is the devaluation of marriage and of
motherhood and homemaking as a career. Some view homemaking with outright
contempt, arguing it demeans women and that the relentless demands of raising
children are a form of exploitation. They ridicule what they call “the mommy
track” as a career. This is not fair or right. We do not diminish the value of
what women or men achieve in any worthy endeavor or career—we all benefit from
those achievements—but we still recognize there is not a higher good than
motherhood and fatherhood in marriage. There is no superior career, and no
amount of money, authority, or public acclaim can exceed the ultimate rewards
of family. Whatever else a woman may accomplish, her moral influence is no more
optimally employed than here.
Jeffrey R. Holland, “Because She Is a Mother” Ensign, May 1997
“In speaking of mothers generally, I
especially wish to praise and encourage young mothers. The work of a mother is
hard, too often unheralded work. Through these years, mothers go longer on less
sleep and give more to others with less personal
Do the best you can through these years, but whatever else you
do, cherish that role that is so uniquely yours and for which heaven itself
sends angels to watch over you and your little ones. Please
know that it is worth it then, now, and forever. When you have
come to the Lord in meekness and lowliness of heart and, as one mother said,
“pounded on the doors of heaven to ask for, to plead for, to demand guidance
and wisdom and help for this wondrous task,” that door is thrown open to
provide you the influence and the help of all eternity.”
There is another dangerous trend as mothers, sometimes beyond
their control, are being drawn out of the home. What could a mother possibly
bring into the home that can equal her being at home with the children while
they grow and mature?
Now the birthrate is declining in every country in the world. In
order for a nation’s population to remain stable, the birthrate must be just
over two children per woman of childbearing years. That trend is seen in the
Church. Worldwide, the birthrate among members married in the temple is notably
higher than in the world, but this rate too has been declining. Worldwide, the
birthrate of Church members is only slightly higher than the world at large.
The First Presidency has written, “Marriage is ordained of God,
and the paramount purpose of this sacred principle is to bring into the world
immortal spirits to be reared in health and nobility of character, to fill the
measure of their mortal existence.” In the ordinary home and the
ordinary family, in almost every conceivable way, the destroyer leads humanity
carefully away from the source of all happiness.
Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, “Behold Thy Mother” Oct. 2015
Today I declare from this pulpit what has been said here before: that no love in mortality comes closer to approximating the pure love of Jesus Christ than the selfless love a devoted mother has for her child.
This kind of resolute love “suffereth long, and is kind, … seeketh not her own, … but … beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.” Most encouraging of all, such fidelity “never faileth.” “For the mountains shall depart and the hills be removed,” Jehovah said, “but my kindness shall not depart from thee.” So too say our mothers.
Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, “Behold Thy Mother” Oct. 2015
Today I declare from this pulpit what has been said here before: that no love in mortality comes closer to approximating the pure love of Jesus Christ than the selfless love a devoted mother has for her child.
This kind of resolute love “suffereth long, and is kind, … seeketh not her own, … but … beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.” Most encouraging of all, such fidelity “never faileth.” “For the mountains shall depart and the hills be removed,” Jehovah said, “but my kindness shall not depart from thee.” So too say our mothers.
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