Wednesday, July 20, 2016

What the Scriptures Teach About How to Be a Better Parent

We are supposed to liken the scriptures unto ourselves and I have found in my life that the example of Nephi building the boat illustrates some critical points to remember when parenting.

The first point is that Nephi didn’t build the ship after the manner of men. This is a good reminder that we shouldn’t always base our parenting choices on what is popular at the time. I often try to remind myself that “The Lords ways are higher than my ways (Isaiah 55:8-9).”

The other important lesson from Nephi is that “the Lord did show [him] from time to time after what manner [he] should work the timbers.” Also, that Nephi had to “go to the mount oft, and [he] did pray oft unto the Lord; wherefore the Lord showed unto [him] great things.]

I remember one time when my daughter was in high school, I noticed that she was being extra quiet and keeping to herself. I tried on several occasions to talk with her and ask what was wrong. She kept assuring me that everything was fine. I kept praying for help to know what to do, and one day I had a feeling about what was concerning my daughter. As I approached her on that specific concern, she opened up and we were able to talk through the problem.

The other scripture from the list below that has really blessed my parenting is from Alma Chapter 4. Alma the Younger was both the chief judge and the high priest over the Church. The members of the Church were becoming more wicked. So “Alma delivered up the judgment-seat to Nephihah, and confined himself wholly to the high priesthood... that he himself might go forth among his people that he might preach the word of God unto them.” 

I have seen that one of the challenges of today is that parents can get so busy doing good things, that they are not around enough for their children. When I was a young mother back in 1987, President Benson gave his talk, “To Mothers in Zion.” His first of ten suggestions was:  

First, take time to always be at the crossroads when your children are coming or going—when they leave and return from school—when they leave and return from dates—when they bring friends home. Be there at the crossroads whether your children are six or sixteen.

In the almost 30 years since, (my youngest in now in high school) I have found this to be very wise counsel.

See also Elder Bednar’s talk: “More Diligent and Concerned at Home.”


Here are some of the scriptures from the Book of Mormon which provide insight on parenting and relationships:

1 Nephi 18:1-3 And we did work timbers of curious workmanship. And the Lord did show me from time to time after what manner I should work the timbers of the ship.
Now I, Nephi, did not work the timbers after the manner which was learned by men, neither did I build the ship after the manner of men; but I did build the ship after the manner which the Lord had shown unto me.
And I, Nephi, did go into the mount oft, and I did pray oft unto the Lord; wherefore the Lord showed unto me great things.

2 Nephi 25:28 I have spoken plainly unto you that ye cannot misunderstand.

2 Nephi 33:4 I know that the Lord God will consecrate my prayers for the gain of my people.

Jacob 2:8-9, 35 And it supposeth me that they have come up hither to hear the pleasing word of God, yea, the word which healeth the wounded soul. And because of the strictness of the word of God, which cometh down against you, many hearts died, pierced with deep wounds.

Alma 4:18-20 [Alma] delivered the judgment-seat unto Nephihah. And this he did that he himself might go forth among the people of Nephi, that he might preach the word of God unto them. Alma delivered up the judgment-seat to Nephihah, and confined himself wholly to the high priesthood of the holy order of God.

Alma 6:6 They should gather themselves together oft, and join in fasting and mighty prayer in behalf of the welfare of the souls of those who knew not God.

Alma 10:7 For he [Alma] has fasted many days because of the sins of the people.

Alma 39:7 I would not dwell upon your crimes, to harrow up your soul, if it were not for your good.

Alma 42:1,30 For ye so try to suppose that it is injustice that the sinner should be consigned to a state of misery. I desire that ye should deny the justice of God no more. Do not endeavor to excuse yourself in the least point because of your sins, by denying the justice of God; but do you let the justice of God, and his mercy, and his long-suffering have full sway in your heart; and let it bring you down to the dust in humility.

3 Nephi 11:29 He that hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but is of the devil, who is the father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another.

3 Nephi 22:13 And all thy children shall be taught of the Lord; and great shall be the peace of thy children.

3 Nephi 25:6 I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord. And he shall turn [bind or seal J.S.] the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse.

Mormon 8:20 Behold what the scripture says – man shall not smite, neither shall he judge; for judgment is mine, saith the Lord, and vengeance is mine also, and I will repay.

Moroni 8:2-3 My beloved son, Moroni...I am mindful of you always in my prayers, continually praying unto God the Father in the name of his Holy Child, Jesus, that he, through his infinite goodness and grace, will keep you through the endurance of faith on his name to the end.


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